another disappointment

Yesterday I went to the thrift store in Quakertown with Anna and Alex and bought a coat that changes color depending on how the light hits it. I felt a little sullen. Alex and Anna seemed that way, too. We made plans to go get Mexican food that night and Anna said she would bring booze. In my head I heard loud Spanish music and pictured us doing tequila shots and calling jovially to the waitress for more limes.

The restaurant was dimly lit and there was a large group of people sitting at a long narrow table. There was a plain but pretty looking woman with brown hair that I noticed, I periodically looked in her direction throughout the evening. Anna brought beer with her and I imbibed. Sarah talked about the bus ride she is going to take to the Midwest and Anna remarked that bus rides aren’t so great. Sarah said she would be safe, and I noted that perhaps she’ll be safe, but that the experience won’t be pleasurable. Alex thought that was amusing, or something, so I decided to include it here. I told everyone how I had imagined the evening, and Anna suggested I call this entry “another disappointment.”

Anna also talked about malaise, in describing the character of some of these entries. It was nice to hear a good vocabulary word like that. Maybe if I had started this blog a few years ago, I would’ve have felt angst. Now I feel malaise.

After we left the restaurant there was nothing really to do so we went to Sarah’s house and played Wii. Somehow, the word choad was brought up and Anna didn’t know what it meant, and Alex and I got a good laugh out of that.

When I got home I felt perturbed about the emptiness of these days. Drinking, even moderately, brings that out in me. I slept on the couch a while and then wasted time until I felt tired enough to go to bed.